Hi, it’s Rosie Paterson here from Living Rosy bringing you my weekly dose of entrepreneurial inspiration!
Investing in your own personal development can be a scary but totally rewarding experience. But what do you do when you know something is totally right for you, but your other half is not on board?
I’m really lucky that I have afiance who totally supports every decision I make in my business. He’s never questioned any investment I’ve made, even at the beginning. He’s even quit his corporate job and joined me in my business now! No way he would have done that at the beginning, even though he was supportive, but he’s seen it grow and has faith in it’s potential.
But lots of people have issues with their partners not understanding a personal development investment, or worse, feeling threatened by their spouse’s own personal growth.
Most of the time, your partner isn’t going through a big personal transformation at the same time as you, so they just don’t get it. I’ve got a friend called Jess who was in a programme with me a couple of years back. We had joined a group programme focused on online marketing - the cost was about $15,000 for the year I believe. The coach was also running private packages for people who wanted to up level their businesses to seven figures in the space of a year. Private coaching with this coach was over $100,000!
Jess knew she had to be in this private programme. Her husband was dead set against it. She’d only left her corporate job about 6 months beforehand and he was still working - he saw a massive outlay. She saw a huge opportunity. Long story short, she invested anyway, paid off the entire programme in 2 months, made nearly $1 million that year and - get this - retired her husband from his job! Now they travel the world full time, she runs her business and he’s got a few projects ongoing too. I really don’t think he’s complaining any more!!
This isn’t to say that she who invests the most wins - it’s to show you that if you know a course or programme will change your life - then listen to that intuition. Don’t let others’ fears get in the way because they can’t see inside your head and understand how deeply committed you are to change. Number one is to follow your own heart - that goes for friends, parents, colleagues and anyone who doesn’t “get” your big dreams.
Now, you may share finances with your partner so it may be that you do want to have a conversation with them. Here’s where it’s really important to approach this the right way. Men are born protectors, and their first instinct is to keep their family safe - just as Jess’s husband wanted. When you come into the conversation afraid, confused or asking for their permission, they see a big red flag and they’ll just say no. They can see your fear and their natural instinct is to keep you safe. Totally reasonable, right!
So when you approach this investment conversation with your partner, you need to be fully certain before you go into it. Approach it from a place of “I’ve found this thing I’m 100% committed to doing, and I’d love your support on it”; not “so I found this thing, mmm, I’m not sure, mmm, what do you think?” How would they know, they’ve not heard about it before! Stay in your power in these conversations.
Finally, and this is obviously totally up to you - but just because you are married or together doesn’t mean that you own one another. If your partner says no, you can still go forward with it anyway - if you are certain you want it and that it will help you. It’s not 1850, you can have your own savings, credit cards or whatever that’s not in a joint name.
The most important thing is that you live your life for you - because living for other people can never make you happy.
Have you ever had issues with your partner saying no to something? What did you do?
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